Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
