just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
