There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
