Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
no, he came in my armpit
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
