I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
