I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
There was a lot of him and a little penis
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize