I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
be right there i have to get my cape
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
