Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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