you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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