About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
