I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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