we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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