Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Acid is not a monday night drug
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
