So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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