Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
How's work?
Spinning.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I need to sanitize my soul.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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