She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
