He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
