dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I have peed in a lot of sinks
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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