PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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