if i can run in heels then i can drive
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
