turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
