PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
