and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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