Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
