party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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