I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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