I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I party with great urgency now.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
