is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
