How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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