Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
