all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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