Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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