maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
