Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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