ugly people sure do ruin things
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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