Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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