I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
