I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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