Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
