No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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