i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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