Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
