Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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