The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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