I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
