I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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