i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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