You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
