After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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