Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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