I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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