Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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