I am puke
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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