I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
