Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
