Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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