May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize