his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Well I just put wine in my tea
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
