She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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