Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
