Dual....:-)
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He shit in the fireplace
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
