it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
