I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
God gave him joint rollers for hands
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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